The Sleep Nanny Podcast

New Baby Naps

If you are ready to overcome nap challenges and win a good night’s sleep, then you are in the right place! This is all about new baby naps. We’re talking about how napping looks in those first months, 0 to six months and everything you need to do to get your little one napping to the best that they can in those early few months.
First and foremost, I just want to say that napping in the early weeks is pretty disorganized. It can be really quite haphazard. They’re napping. It feels like they’re almost napping 24 hours a day, and taking little sleeps on and off all the way through the 24 hour cycle. And that’s normal. So if you’re in that phase right now, don’t worry, it will get better and it will become more organized and more rhythmic, but it is quite common for it to be a little more disorganized in those early weeks. However, there are things you can do to help to get it a little bit more rhythmic and a bit more organized. Some little ones do fall into this quite naturally really early on. And I find that’s often when they are either on the larger side. So they have the capacity to sustain a bit more of their milk, and they’re not waking up so much from hunger.
If that’s the factor, it can play a part. So their capacity, their weight and their size can have a role in that. That said, there is no reason why a smaller and breastfed baby who obviously we know that breast milk doesn’t keep you feeling as full for as long, but there’s absolutely no reason why a purely breastfed baby on the smaller side, can’t sleep just as well as a larger baby or a formula fed baby. They all can do it. It’s just that there are sometimes factors that can play a part in how easy or how challenging it comes.
They may sleep little and often in the beginning and that’s okay. What we want to look for is, when can they do their longer stretch and ideally we want that longer stretch to be in the nighttime, not in the daytime. I’m sure some of you can relate to this concept of’ my baby is awake all night, but sleeps all day’.
You can help shift that. We want to get their body clock and their circadian rhythms firing up so that it recognizes, the system recognizes when it’s daytime, when it’s nighttime. And you can do that with environmental cues, just things like making sure it’s light and bright in the day and dark and dim at night. Those are simple signals to the brain as humans to know nighttime sleep, daytime wake up and light gives us stimulation and creates all kinds of chemical releases in the brain that we don’t have so much when it’s dark. Those things will help your little one to sleep better at nighttime and to feel more stimulated during the daytime. But that said, we do still want the daytime sleep to be there as well.
Other things you can do are to really think about rhythms and cues beyond just the light and dark. And you are one of those things, yourself and how you act and how you relate to your little one. So when it’s time for sleep, being in your kind of sleepy mode, which is to be calm, maybe quite placid, softly spoken to a whisper, quite subdued, sort of like nothing to see here, just one person, one on one, not lots of fussing and calm. You can be a sleepy influence on your little one, as opposed to when it’s wake time and you’ve got your full voice. And usually we talk quite rhymingly to our little ones and your face is probably animated with eye contact and all that energy that creates a stimulation and interaction with your little one. So that differentiates when it’s time to be awake, to interact, to play, to be stimulated. And when it’s time to cut the stimulation out and calm down, they will take a lot of that stimulation influence from you. So it’s important that you can adapt to which mode you need to be in.
Another thing that happens a lot with the younger babies with the naps is they often happen on the parents or on the go. And we hear from lots of parents who say, oh, I can’t get my baby down for the naps. They’re on me, on me all the time. Or they end up using slings and wearing their baby for all the naps because they know they can’t get anything done or have a life because they’ve just got to hold their baby the whole time. It’s very common and not in any way wrong at all, but what you can do if you’re finding that it is difficult, bearing heavily on you, or perhaps it isn’t giving your little one the sleep that they truly need, because perhaps they’re disturbed quite easily. For whatever reason, if it’s not perfectly working for you and you want to break away from that and find a way to get your baby to be okay, being placed down then working on that is really, really key, practicing.
I always say, practice. It doesn’t need to be perfect. It’s not to hold your baby to sleep or put them down and leave them to it. Whether they cry or not. It’s not that at all. It’s practicing, helping them to adjust to a safe, comfortable sleep space where you are too. You’re right there. You’re physically there. You’re audibly there. You’re visually there and they’re reassured. They feel safe. And at first of course they cry or fuss because it’s new. It’s different. It’s weird. What, where am I? This isn’t what we normally do and you’ll get resistance. But if you persist while showing that loving, calm, and comfort, they do get used to it. They go, oh, oh okay. Yeah, this isn’t so scary after all. Yeah. I’m okay. Because at no time have they got any sense of fear or distress, at no time do they feel abandoned or ignored because you’re right there, soothing your baby.
So practice putting your little one down for naps. And even if you only get a little bit of put down nap time, it counts. That’s another notch. That’s another bit of practice. And slowly that adds up and becomes something and the fruit of your labor will turn up. So my closing message to you on this is practice doing that. It is doing more than you think it is. So when you’re doing that, I remember doing this with my youngest and I remember going, I put her down and then I soothe her for a bit, but then she fusses.
So I have to pick her up and then I calm her and she’s calm. And then I put her down again and then she’s fussing. So I pick her up. It’s so easy to think well, what’s the point? It’s not working anyway. I’m just going to have to hold her or rock her. It’s so easy to think that, but actually the more intermittent I got with the pickup and calm, the longer those little stretches of see you’re okay. You’re right down here. It’s okay. The longer those stretches became, the better she got at it, the more she adapted to it. And as the weeks went by, I was like, oh, hang on. She’s all right for longer and longer and longer. And then amazing, she’s got it. Just like riding a bike.
So keep going even when it feels tough. You can do this. Naps can be crazy, but have a strategy, stick with it and you will get your little one napping really, really well.
Take care and sleep well.
Why not book a free discovery call if you want to get a plan in place for a better night’s sleep?

Baby Nap Routine

In this blog I am talking about all things baby naps, the routine behind them and why they’re important, we’ll be leaving no stone unturned!
When it comes to napping, why is it so important and why do so many of us get tripped up by these and spend our lives feeling like we are just trying to get the little one to go to sleep?
It feels exhausting just thinking about it, to be honest. First of all, let me just explain that all of us, but particularly babies, we can only be awake for a certain amount of time, in any one stretch, before we need to have a sleep again and top up the tank and replenish ourselves and be ready to go again. As adults, that’s usually in one block, in one chunk of the day, or in some cultures, napping is still a big part of life throughout adulthood as well. But babies, and particularly the younger they are, the shorter the amount of time they can go between sleeps and in between their sleeps, they need a nap. They need a chance to catch up and refresh.
Without having those naps what’s going to happen is a little one will get over tired and over tiredness is honestly the root of all evil when it comes to sleep, because being overtired actually causes a bigger deterioration in sleep as a whole. So we want to avoid them getting overtired, but also being overtired can cause crash out sleeps, so it can go two ways when you’re overtired. It can cause a crash out, zonk out and you think you’re winning. You think, “Oh, that is easy. My baby went to sleep easily and had a really good one.” Yeah, that’s an occasional big crash out catch up. But more often than not, what you see is more crankiness, more difficulty settling, more restless sleep, more disturbed sleep and more premature waking up from the sleep, so we need the naps.
How do you get into a good nap routine and how does it all work?
It’s always changing and that’s the thing. It’s an ever evolving thing as they grow, because as they grow, they can go longer stretches between the sleeps and the sleeps can change in their shape and length. They start smaller, they go up and they go down again, so a new baby, a young baby, will sleep little often, whereas an older one will have maybe one or two longer naps, until they start to drop it completely.
I’m going to be covering all of those stages in the next few blogs, so make sure you come back and check those out as I take you through the different stages. You might find that you are at one stage now and you want to come back and watch one of the other episodes a little later when your little one gets to that age.
For now though let’s think about nap rhythmicity and why is this important.
Right from the beginning, if you can tune in to when your little one needs to sleep and how long they can be awake, you’re going to help them to create that rhythmicity with their sleeps and with their naps. Knowledge is power with this. Knowing how long your little one is going to be optimally awake, before they need a sleep, is such a key bit of information because they don’t tell you and we can’t rely on them to show us and tell us. We talk about cues and signals, but usually with sleep, when we see the signals that they’re tired like eye rubbing, yawning, crankiness, it’s actually too late and we’ve missed the window.
The ideal sweet spot, there’s a 30 minute sweet spot, a 30 minute window where, if you can get your little one to settle to sleep in that 30 minutes, they’re more likely to settle with less difficulty and they’re more likely to sleep for longer, or for the length of time that they truly need. If you miss that 30 minute sweet spot, you may try too soon and they’re under tired. They’re not ready to go to sleep yet. But if you miss it the other way and you’re too late, they’re overtired and it looks the same. They fight it. They resist the sleep because they’ve gone past that sweet spot. They’ve released loads of cortisol. The adrenaline is flooding back through the system to keep them going. It’s the body’s natural reaction, and so then they’re like, “Oh, well I can’t go to sleep now because I’ve got all this adrenaline going around my system.”
You’ve got a 30 minute sweet spot. Now, it’s not always easy to find, but don’t give up. It’s a case of knowing, getting those rough approximate windows, so you know roughly where it’s going to be, and then just tweaking and trial and error to get it just right. But you will get it right and when you do, you’ll find that your little one will sleep better. Okay, so naps are crucial. They are absolutely vital. Please do not listen to any old fashioned myths about, “Oh, well, if you keep them awake more in the day and when you tire them out, then they’re going to sleep better at night.” It’s just not true and it’s actually really not healthy. They need that sleep for their brain development, their immune systems, their whole entire replenishment comes from those naps as well. So it’s very important to get them in there.
Next time, I’m going to go a little deeper on the new baby nap phase. The 0 to six months and what’s going on there.
In the meantime, you take care and sleep soundly.
Why not download my Sweet Dreams videos series full of tips and tricks to get a good nights sleep?

Putting Baby Down To Sleep

In the final part of my little bedtime series, this blog is all about putting a baby down for sleep when you just can’t even get them from your arms to down. I know that problem and I have got the solution!
You often find that you are stuck with your baby in your arms or on you and you know they need to lay down. Your arms are aching, you need a bit of free time too. Perhaps you need to express some milk or you’ve got just a few jobs to do or maybe actually you just deserve to put your feet up and have a rest but you can’t relax because babies asleep again on you or perhaps you’ve even tried the sling, the carrier and they have to sleep in there and yep, you get a bit more space with your arms but let’s face it, it’s not ideal and it’s not sustainable.
It’s okay now and again but what I don’t want to see is you being in this place where you feel like it’s the only way. It’s fine if it’s a way but if it’s the only way and you feel like you actually cannot put your baby down for sleep, that’s who this is for. Here are my micro steps for getting a baby down to sleep. This is something that I would recommend people do if they have a heavy reliance.
If baby has got a heavy reliance on being on you to fall to sleep and if you do put your baby down, that’s it, they’re awake, they’re crying again and you’re like, ugh, it’s just not worth it. This is something that I would also recommend for some people prior to starting my fade out approach because, the micro steps are what you need to do first. Once we’ve got through these steps then we can start step one of the fade out. What do we do? First thing you do, change the hold.
If your baby typically falls asleep being held in your arms, try the shoulder position. If it’s a shoulder position, try a side position. Change the position in some way. We want it to be noticeable. We want baby to be, hang on this isn’t right. If they don’t really care, try something a little bit different. It’s not a big enough stretch of their comfort zone. Try something that’s enough for them to be, hang on a minute, I’m not sure if I like this. We want them to notice it. Why? Because as I say, it’s stretching the comfort zone. It’s showing them that, hey, look, I’ve changed something but you are still okay. I’m still right here. You’re still with me. You’re still touching me. I’m still here for you. So they’re realizing that, oh, there’s a small change but I’m still safe. This is okay, I’ve got this. So make it subtle but significant. That sounds like a complete contradiction doesn’t it, subtle but significant, but there’s a reason, subtle but significant enough that they are aware of it.
Next?. Think about creating a small amount of distance, small bits of distance each time. Perhaps you change the hold. We’ve now stretched the comfort zone there. Now can we create a bit of distance. Can we hold them in a way that’s slightly further away. If it’s a chest thing, can we get away from there? Sometimes people will do the lap hold so you’re sitting and you’re holding baby, cradling them but in a forward feet to tummy and head in hands way across the lap so there’s a bit more distance there. Can you find a way to hold in a way that creates a bit more distance?
When changing the hold and creating distance, you could also change parents. If it’s always mummy that does it try daddy, if it’s always daddy that does it try mummy, that can also be an option to make a small change but whilst still giving that comfort and reassurance. Whilst you’re doing that, whilst you’re changing the hold and creating that little bit of extra distance we want to reinforce other forms of comfort. A great one is the shush. The shush sound, it’s a white noise sound that’s reassuring. So reinforcing shushes, even if you don’t think your baby needs it, you’re going to use it later. By reinforcing the comfort of shush or whatever sound you want to make, really whispers, means that as you change things, that thing stays. So they start to go, well, hold on, that’s still there. Oh, that’s still going, okay, that’s still there. It’s a comfort they can take with them through these steps.
Makes sense? Now the next stage of this is to lay your baby down so you’re going to put them down in their sleep space and this time with your hands still there. Whatever your current hold position has been, you’re going to move to the next step, which is to place them down but keeping your arms on them, around them in some form for a few minutes, you need to be in a position where you can lean into the crib so that the difference isn’t too huge. You may get a “Hang on, I’m lying down in here, I don’t like it, I don’t like, oh, but you’re still there. You’re still touching me. You still have your hand, ok…”So it’s almost a subtle step but this is by no means the first step, I would take these steps over a number of bed times.
I wouldn’t do this all in one night, start the change of hold for one or two nights. I would create some more distance as I go. Then on maybe night three or four, I might try putting them down but if it doesn’t feel like it’s time yet you can take as many bed times as you need to make these differences. Try not to get stuck and plateau in one position or in one hold, make sure you keep moving along piece by piece.
Once you lay your baby down and you have achieved the goal of putting them in their sleep space and you’ve got your hands on and hands in there for comfort but they are falling to sleep there, then you are ready for the fade out approach.
Use these micro steps, take your time with it and get to the point that you can place baby down even if it does involve lots of shushing and hands on comfort. Once you are ready to move on check out some of my videos on the Sleep Nanny YouTube channel or my book for the Fade Out approach.

Settling Baby To Sleep

https://youtu.be/GR1o5o1pPhE
This blog in the bedtime miniseries is all about how you settle a baby to sleep at bedtime. I will be revealing what settling to sleep actually means and what it looks like. Why it’s important and how it’s going to help you with the whole picture of sleep all around and how to actually do it.
Settling a baby to sleep. When we settle to sleep, us, children, babies, we call that part of sleep, the sleep onset. Meaning exactly what it says, it’s the onset of the sleep, it’s the beginning of the sleep, and it’s how sleep comes about. So a baby will go through sleep onset several times a day because they’ll go through the sleep onset at bedtime, then they will go through sleep onset for their naps. That’s what sleep onset is, and so to settle a baby to sleep, we need to help them to get good at their sleep onset.
But why? Why do we need to do that? Why is it important? Why can’t we just rock them or push them around in a pram until they go to sleep and that’s fine?
Well, if that’s fine and it works for you and you are happy, then that is fine. But here’s why it’s important to help a little one with their sleep onset. When a little one knows how to go to sleep and they can put themselves through that sleep onset effectively without needing you to do it for them, they’re more likely to take the longer, more substantial stretches of sleep that their body actually wants and is ready for. Then when that cycle of sleep comes to an end, they’re more likely to drift off into the next cycle of sleep like a miniature sleep onset. They’re likely to repeat it almost subconsciously and go into the next sleep cycle, meaning to you is an even longer stretch of sleep. But for them it’s lots of small stretches pushed together.
They’ll get better at falling back to sleep as well when they wake between cycles or partially wake. And it will also help with naps because when they settle to sleep at the start of the nap, they’re more likely to take the full length of naps that they need rather than waking up after 30 minutes and going, “Hang on, I’m stuck. I need to do that sleep onset thing again.” It’s really important for all round health of a baby’s sleep, and it’s one of the first things you can teach them in terms of self-regulation. Because as they fall to sleep and they go through their sleep onset, they’re actually calming and soothing in ways that you don’t even see.
So how? How do you do it? It sounds blissful, but how? It’s not that simple, is it? Well, it’s all about practice and you can practice from very early on. But the more you practice, eventually, they’re going to get good at it like anything. They can’t just do it all of a sudden, one day, magically, it takes practice. For people who have this sense that, “Well, they’re not going to have a hard time falling asleep forever. They’ll get up eventually.” Yeah, they will, but through practice, and whether that’s practice that you are consciously helping them to do or whether they just get there eventually through their own practice, then it’s still practice.
But it could take years, and I mean years, if you don’t consciously help and guide them.
Here’s the best message I can give to any new parent and any parent of a baby, but also if you have a toddler or a slightly older one, you can still take this on board and you can still do this.
It’s as that parent, as that caregiver, when it comes to the sleep onset, think about not doing the whole job for them, and that’s it. Don’t do it all for them. Help, assist, guide, support. Those things are all great, that’s your role, but don’t just do it for them. Think about that and further on in childhood, you’re not going to just do the homework for them when they find it hard. You’re not going to ride their bike for them because they haven’t got that skill yet.
You don’t do things for them, you help them, you encourage them, you show them how, you support them as they learn. It’s no different. So when your little one lays down to go to sleep, if you’ve done it for them, you’ve rocked them off to sleep, you’ve fed them so much that they’re passed out on their milk, or they’ve been walked around in their pushchair and fallen asleep with the motion lulling them off. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a time when we use those things as a backup plan because we need the sleep and so do they. But if you can at least practice this once a day for naps, and if you can definitely practice this every bedtime for the onset of sleep, not doing it all for them, but helping them along, helping them along.
It comes down to how you show them and guide them, sooth and reassure them. Help them, create the space for them to actually get that practice themselves. Then their little bodies can feel the sensation of falling to sleep, and their brains are going through these amazing, amazing learnings that, “Oh, okay, I’m safe here. This person responds to me. I’m not alone. This is a safe place. I can relax and I can go to sleep.”
They learn then to do this happily. This is not something that creates stress or frustration. Well, it can be frustrating, it can actually be frustrating when they’re like, “I’m just so tired and I really want to go to sleep and I just don’t know how to do it and you’ve always done it for me. Do it for me.” You’re like there going, “Okay, look, I’m not going to do it for you because that’s actually not helping. But I’m going to help you. I’m going to help you as much as I can and you do a bit too. We’re a team.” Like that’s the message you want to send. But they shouldn’t be fearful and they shouldn’t be distressed, and crying does not mean that they’re fearful or distressed. It often just means they’re tired and fed up and they just want to go to sleep.
As long as your list one is fed so they’re not hungry, they’re clean and dry, they are not poorly or unwell in any way, then your support, your comfort and your guidance is all they really need to settle peacefully to sleep.
I hope this has given you a good idea about what sleep onset is and why it is important and how that’s the key to settling a baby to sleep. In the next part of this bedtime series, I’m going to be talking all about how you put a baby down for sleep.
We’re here if you need us, and you can book a free discovery call if you want to know more about getting a good night’s sleep even with the clock change.

Toddler Getting Out Of Bed

https://youtu.be/zTY5iPdjwl8
This is the second in my mini series about bedtimes, and we are going to be delving into what you do when you have a toddler who is getting up and down at bedtime and they just won’t stay in their beds. You know what I mean? I’m sure when we’ve all been there. I’m going to be answering the key questions to help you overcome that exact battle.
A toddler, particularly, getting up and down, getting out of bed repeatedly at bedtime when you know they’re tired and you know they just need to go to sleep, it’s so frustrating. All you want is to have that blissful little bedtime story, say goodnight and have a bit of an evening for yourself as well. Or maybe you have other children to tend to, but this one is dominating and taking up all of your evening. And then you end the day feeling stressed and fed up and resentful about the whole situation, rather than feeling fulfilled and satisfied, and having that lovely bedtime that you and your family deserve.
What can we do about this? How can we stop a little one from getting up and down from their bed?
We’ve told them. We’ve asked them. We’ve tried reward charts, and they still do it. Why? Why, Why? Why? Well, there is the question and this is the answer. The likely reason that your little one is getting up repeatedly and not staying put in bed is probably to do with the response that comes when they do it. What do I mean by that? What happens when your little one gets out of bed? Do you walk them back and tuck them in? Do you walk them back and tuck them in 10 times, then get cross and end up frustrated and telling them off. Or do you end up finding it funny and having a laugh? Do you show any forms of frustration or any forms of a game? Because likely your toddler either thinks it’s a game or they’re getting something out of an interaction.
Now, when I say getting something out of it, it doesn’t have to be positive. Little ones will enjoy any kind of interaction. They’re not really so bothered about whether it’s positive or negative. Whether you’re praising them for it or telling them that’s not what we want to see, they don’t really care. They’re getting that response from you so they’ll keep doing it because they’re getting the engagement. So what does your response look like? Now, some might say well, what then? Shall I just ignore them? That’s not likely to work either because they’ll just keep probing you and they’ll just keep coming, and they’re not really getting a direction from you.
So how do you give a consistent and appropriate response to actually getting that little one to stay in bed? Well, the key word I said there is consistent. It needs to be consistent. The likelihood is, and we all do this, is that you send a big bunt of mixed messages. So the first time it’s, “Come on now, back to bed.” The second time it’s, “Shh, shh. Lie down, get into bed.” The third time you pick them up from the landing and carry them back and then tuck them in and say “Enough now. Go to bed.” And you’re sounding firmer. Maybe the third time they’ve asked for water so you’ve gone off and got them a cup of water. Maybe the fourth time mummy’s had enough so daddy’s come in and had a go. And it just is all mixed, mixed, mixed. Okay. And then little one might start testing other things like oh, what if I play with these toys? Or what if I move these things around? They like to strip beds, demand different pillows and all kinds of things to delay things and mix it up.
And what they’re doing is actually completely normal and part of intelligent brain development. They’re testing if I do this, then what do you do? If I change my behaviour, will you change your behaviour? And they’re testing to see well, when I do, what’s this action going to get as a response? So your role as the parent is to give a consistent response, no matter what the action. If it’s just a little get up, same response. If it’s throwing teddies around the room, same response. It needs to be the same. And I describe this like, you need to have a steady hand. You need to have a steady hand with the same response every single time. That way they know well, there’s no point mixing it up and trying anything else because I’m going to get the same response. The response itself is key though. It needs to be completely clear every time, no mixed message. It needs to be firm. It needs to be firm without being cross, but also without being fluffy. Just firm and clear, and of course it needs to be consistent.
What could that look like? With little ones you might need to guide them to bed. Don’t pick them up. Don’t give them a carry or a cuddle or anything else. That’s too much of an incentive to do it again. Just guide them back, “This way.” If they’re big enough to be in a bed and get out of it then they’re big enough to get back into it. So just guide them back. You could use a simple keyword like, “Back to bed.” Guide them. No chit chat along the way. If they start trying to engage in conversation just “Shh, shh” or “Sleepy time”. Have a little cue key word or phrase that you can whisper. And they get into bed, “Night, night.” And then walk away. It’s as simple as that. The more we try to do the worse we make the situation, especially with toddlers, and especially with these alert little ones. So consistent response, clear message and be firm with the message so that you’re not giving them any false hope or incentive.
Now, I want to give you a really important extra piece of information on this. If your little one is in a bed and they are under the age of two and a half, so they’re no longer in a crib or a cot with sides, but they’re actually in a bed, even if there’s bed guards, if they can get out themselves and they’re under two and a half, you could be in for a long session of doing this night after night for many, many weeks, if not months returning them to their bed. Why? Because under the age of two and a half they’re not really cognitively ready to understand this. So this process of being consistent and clear with your messaging, they don’t really get it effectively until they’re over two and a half. So it could be that you’re fighting a bit of a losing battle for a while.
That’s not to say some little ones won’t adapt and get it. And it’s not to say that the hard work won’t pay off eventually, but be prepared to be doing it for a long time, because you could be doing all the right things and thinking, but I’m not getting anywhere and it’s because they are just not cognitively ready yet. So really do consider that if you are miles away from age three, could you bring back the cot or crib? Could you put them back in? And oh, but they climb out I hear you cry. Well, I have a whole other episode on that and things you can do to prevent and avoid that from happening. And if it is, just sometimes it’s just a fear that they might, so maybe they won’t. But if they are under two and a half I would recommend considering going back to a cot or a crib, if this is a problem for you and you are fighting this battle over and over again.
I thought I’d give you that little bit of ‘bonus’ of information hopefully to help you along your way, I hope that this helps.
Sleep soundly and take care.
We’re here if you need us, and you can book a free discovery call if you want to know more about getting a good night’s sleep even with the clock change.

Kids Bedtime Routine

https://youtu.be/QCYdKWfdK3s
Do you find yourself dreading bedtime every evening and feeling like, “Oh no, bedtime is coming again.” It’s a battle, it’s exhausting, and you just want your little ones to go to sleep happily.
In this blog I’m going to be talking about routine, particularly the bedtime routine. Why it’s important, when you can start it, and what it should look like..
Routine. Bedtime routine. What should that look like for kids? And why is it important?
The thing with a bedtime routine is it sets the scene that sleep time is coming and not just a nap, but that big, long sleep time. So even for us, as adults, teenagers, older children, we all really benefit from having that routine at bedtime. It also really helps to encourage the circadian rhythm, which is the body clock to stay into a nice, healthy rhythm. Meaning we tend to know instinctively when it’s night time, when it’s daytime. And studies have shown that even as adults, if we have a consistent bedtime every evening, we go to bed at the same time every evening, start the day at roughly at the same time every day, we are more likely to get better quality sleep, fall asleep more easily, and just feel fresher and brighter when we wake for the day. So it’s important to instil this in our little ones right from the get go.
Bedtime routine with children, it’s like an instruction. It’s like a trigger. It’s a cue. So not only does it give them that rhythmicity, it’s time to go to big sleep now, we have a big sleep, we start the day, we have meals, we have naps maybe. It’s time for that big sleep again. It creates that rhythmicity and health in sleep. So it’s really important and you can actually start a bedtime routine from as early as just a couple of weeks. So once you have your new baby home and you feel like you’ve got over the childbirth part and you’re starting to think about these things. It’s not really too early because a bedtime routine with a newborn is just going to be simply setting the scene with a few triggers and cues, a darkened room, perhaps that last milk feed, a lullaby, maybe a gentle rock or a placing down, the steps you do to put that little one down for sleep at bedtime is a bedtime routine.
It doesn’t matter how subtle it is, but those little triggers and cues from the environment can make a huge impact on a new baby and set them up really, really well for healthy good nourishing sleep. You can never start too soon.
What actually can you put into a bedtime routine?
Well, that is going to change and evolve as your little one grows. I’m sure what you do in your bedroom routine has changed over the years as well. So it will change. But with children, the key thing to remember with bedtime routine is to do the same steps in the same order at pretty much the same time for bedtimes. So for example, once you decide bedtime is coming, that’s the start of the bedtime routine and it ends with them going to sleep. So everything we do needs to be leading towards sleep.
We want to come away from the normal busyness of the daytime and the atmosphere of daytime, which might mean we go from being downstairs in kitchen, living room, busy areas to we say goodnight to any other family members and one person so that it’s less stimulating, take the little one to the bathroom. You do your bathroom activity, whether that’s a bath or a shower or just a little wash, whether it’s baby massage, applying lotion or kick about with no nappy, again, whatever stage your little one is at, your routine steps may look slightly different, but bathroom activity will happen. They’ve all got to brush their teeth at some point. So we’re going to have our bathroom activity and then from there into the room that they will sleep in. Now this bit is important. So many people will go and do the bathroom a bit and then go and watch some TV or take them to another room or then see another five family members and it’s all stimulating again.
We want to use the bath time piece as the beginning of this wind down and of this calm ready for sleep. So from there to the bedroom, in the bedroom we have those last few steps of the routine. So that may still include a milk feed. The last milk feed of the day. It may not. The little one might have a little bit of water. They may have a bedtime story. Depending on their age, it can start with a little feely touchy book thing, pointing at things, to short stories, to sort of bigger stories as they get older. But again, with stories, limit that to what feels comfortable. Is it one story? One story’s good. I would go for one, but just make it the ideal length for the little one’s age. If the story is too short pick a longer one, rather than having two or three short stories. Because little ones, especially toddlers and preschooler age are going to go, “Oh, one more, one more, one more,” and try and delay and keep that going. So sticking to one is a really good idea.
What’s next? Do you tuck them in, say goodnight? This will evolve at different ages and stages. With a baby, it may be a lullaby and a place down. With a young school-aged child or a preschooler, it might be a bedtime story and a tucking in and a little goodnight ritual. The most important message that I want to get across though, is whatever it does, what it will evolve, but whatever it looks like, keep to those same steps in that same order. So your little one comes to know exactly what to expect, what’s going to be next, and that the end result is night-night, lights out and time for sleep.
We really hope this has helped you understand the importance of routine, why we even do bedtime routine. What’s it even for? How soon you can actually get started with this. It’s never too late either by the way if you think, “Oh, we’ve never had a routine and my little one’s three.” That’s okay. Start now. Just start implementing it from tonight and what you can include in your routine.
Next week, I’m going to be going deeper into what to do when you have a toddler who’s getting up and down and getting out of bed at bedtime.
We’re here if you need us, and you can book a free discovery call if you want to know more about getting a good night’s sleep even with the clock change.

How Sleep Is Affected By The Clocks Going Forward

https://youtu.be/afjTYssbN5s
How did the spring clock change go? How has it been with that one hour forward that the clocks just did to us? Have you managed to get over that yet? Are you feeling like you’re on track with the new time and feeling refreshed by spring, or are you a walking zombie and feeling exhausted because that one hour, it feels like a huge jet lag to you?
It affects everybody differently. Some manage that change way more smoothly than others, and both adults and children. How have your children been? Have they been sensitive to it or breezed it? This kind of thing, these clock changes are really, really impactful on the human body and brain in a way that lots of people don’t even realize. You think it’s just one hour, but it can have a massive, massive impact.
In fact, a Swedish study that showed the risk of having a heart attack actually increases on the weekdays after the spring forward clock change. That’s a massive, massive factor. Both the clock changes have been linked with increased road traffic accidents, accidents in the workplace, and injuries due to accidents in the work place, it does crazy things to our minds and brains. Just one measly hour. It can have that much of an effect. And so actually the subtle differences you might see could just be sheer tiredness, maybe a little bit more moody, clingy, grumpy, fractious kiddies, or maybe not quite such patient parents. It could be anything. But just know that you’re not alone and actually that it’s not just one measly hour. It’s a big impact on the body.
I hope that it is going well for you and that you are managing to get over the difference in the clock change. But here are some ideas for you if you’re struggling or if you’re like, “Oh my God, it’s the worst thing. Ever since the clock changed, my child’s sleep’s gone completely off track.” And I’m going to be hearing this for the next few weeks, if not a few months, because this is what always happens. The clocks change, and then parents call us and go, “Ah, it’s all gone wrong.”
So to help you and to hope that it doesn’t all go wrong, the biggest and most important thing that I can recommend that you do is get into routine or rhythm right now that is in line with the time now. Make sure that you are starting the day and your little one is awake and starting the day, at the same time, every day, rather than having lie ins some days and up early on other days, try to start the day at roughly the same time every day. Try to ensure that they are having adequate daytime sleep if they are still young enough, and that those sleeps happen at the same times of day, each day, where possible. I know that’s not always as easy as it sounds.
Make sure that you and your little ones are all going to bed at pretty close to the same time every evening. And that can be hard for us adults, especially, the weekend comes stay up a little bit later, but if you’re struggling with this clock change, that kind of rhythm is going to really help you. Start the day at the same time every day and end the day at the same time every day, your body will thank you. It will know where it’s coming from. It will be like, “Okay, good. This is nighttime. This is daytime.” And it will get into that rhythm a whole lot quicker and easier.
Something that will also help and add to that are things like meal times. So eating at regular times, similar times, each day will also help. Again, it’s sending your body those cues and those messages of the rhythm of your day and then that sleep time comes. So it’s going to prepare the body better. It also, without going too sciencey on you, it also will have an effect and impact on things like the melatonin production, which is your sleep hormones. It will help to trigger you for sleep, rather than you fighting against it and trying to get yourself to sleep when you don’t want to or vice versa, wanting to sleep badly and just not being able to that’s the worst.
Routines, rhythms, triggers, cue the regularity with your body and get that body clock in check for the spring. If it helps you, it will also help your child. Makes sure you’re doing that for them and for you, that it’s all around, you’re going to have better family sleep.
Reach out to us if you have any questions or you need any help getting back on track after the clock change. But routine is definitely going to be your biggest path to getting things back on track and sleeping soundly.
Wishing you the very best of luck with it.
We’re here if you need us, and you can book a free discovery call if you want to know more about getting a good night’s sleep even with the clock change.

Spring Clock Change 2022

https://youtu.be/G5YFLDw01f0
We have got the strategies for to help you and your little ones be able to handle the spring clock change where the clocks go forward an hour. We are going to recap my three preferred approaches that I believe can help any one of you to get your little one sleeping soundly through this clock change. Make sure you keep reading to get a plan in place to leap forward into Spring.
The first approach to managing this clock change is the gradual approach. Now, this approach is where you are going to move bedtime earlier by 15 minutes each night, starting on Wednesday. The clocks change on the last Sunday of the month at night. So Wednesday night we go 15 minutes earlier than usual, Thursday night, another 15 minutes, so we’re 30 minutes earlier than usual. On Friday night, we’re going to move another 15 minutes, so we’ll be 45 minutes earlier going to bed than usual.
That way by Saturday night we are that last 15 minutes earlier. So we are a whole hour earlier than the usual bedtime. If bedtime is normally or sleep time is normally 7:00 PM, that means that we are going to move that in 15 minute increments until we are at 6:00 PM. This is the gradual approach. Now what this means is, by Saturday night, your little one goes to bed a whole hour earlier than normal, but they haven’t really felt that great big drastic jump in change of bedtime.
Meaning they can sleep for their usual number of hours through the night, but wake up at their usual wake up time because the clocks will have moved during the night on that Saturday night into Sunday. The gradual approach is definitely the best way to go if you have a younger baby or a young child who’s very sensitive to small things. If they notice every little difference, if there’s somebody who notices difference in feel, environment, sound, little time changes, then this is going to be the right approach for them. Big change doesn’t work for them.
If you have a slightly older one or a really easygoing baby, who’s just really quite flexible, maybe they’re not quite so rigid in their timings and can manage a bigger difference without it really noticing, then you might want to take one of the next two approaches. So the second one is to meet in the middle, it’s a half an hour difference. So instead of going to bed at your usual time of let’s say 7:00 P.M. We are going to go earlier by 30 minutes at 6:30 P.M. on the Saturday night.
So you just change nothing up until Saturday night, 30 minutes, we’re going to meet in the middle with the clock change, and that way the night sleep is going to be taking us roughly to the same wake up time in the morning with that change of time in the night. It’s good for those who, the whole hour earlier to bed would be too much, but they don’t really need those tiny little changes each night from Wednesday.
The third option is the all in one go. One fell swoop, we just move bedtime earlier by one hour on Saturday night so that they sleep for their normal number of hours and wake up at the new time on Sunday. It’s as simple as that, it’s a whole hour earlier, but it’s really quite tricky to do that with a child who is just not tired an hour earlier. So this is going to work great for somebody who’s over tired, who’s really ready for sleep and could quite easily go to bed an hour earlier.
I bet a lot of you could do that. But if you have a little one who’s maybe still having a nap during the day, or they’re just not going to be tired enough to go to bed a whole hour earlier, especially little ones that are taking lots of naps still, they’re probably not going to be ready to move bedtime by a whole hour earlier, and therefore you’re going to want more of a gradual approach. It’s very different to the autumn clock change when we move the bedtime later, because it’s a lot easier to keep yourself awake longer, or to keep a little on awake longer than it is to make somebody tired sooner. That’s the big difference.
So three options for you there, or you could tweak it to fit your child. Maybe you want to do 30 minutes earlier on Friday and then the whole hour earlier on the Saturday. But on the whole this is an array of ways that could help your little one to adjust to that time change a bit more smoothly.
Bear in mind it can take up to a week to adjust anyway to something as small as one hour clock change so, give them some time to adjust into that new routine. And on the Sunday, I highly recommend that you just get into that new time straightaway.
Don’t go down the route of thinking well the body clock thinks it’s this time, that doesn’t help. Just go with the new time, put your mealtimes in on the new time, bedtime routine at the new time, and they will soon adjust and so will you.
So are you ready, and are you prepared for the clock change that’s coming up really soon?
Make sure you do things like get that routine in place to accommodate the change. So if you are going for the gradual approach, you do need to be home a little bit earlier in the evenings in order to bring all these things a bit earlier, to have meal times a bit earlier.
Consider what you need to set up in your routine and your environment, to help you to make these changes. Because if you are starting the Wednesday before you need to be ready. You need to know what you’re doing, be ready to execute that plan. I hope this has been helpful and I hope the clock change goes smoothly for you.
Why not book a free discovery call if you want to know more about getting a good night’s sleep even with the clock change.

Bedtime Clock Change Tips For Kids

https://youtu.be/Ug2MT5iNHok
When the clocks go forward and we spring forward an hour, how do we get the best from our little ones sleep and how do we avoid them completely coming off track and not being able to sleep very well, this is Part 3 of the Clock Change miniseries and I am giving you my third approach and option, which is the All In One Go approach. I’m going to explain to you how this is different in the spring to how it works in the autumn, and why you may or may not want to go with this option.
Let me explain how the All In One Go works. It’s actually quite simple, in that, you just move the bedtime earlier by one hour, all in one go, and you do that on the Saturday night. So the clocks are going to change during the night between Saturday and Sunday. When you go to bed on Saturday, they’re going to change by the time you’ve woken up on Sunday. And the All In One Go approach is to move bedtime earlier on that Saturday night. So if your little one is usually going to bed and falling asleep for 7:00 PM, on Saturday night, we’re going to make it 6:00 PM, a whole hour different. That way, when they go to sleep, they will sleep their normal number of hours through the night, and then wake up at their normal wake up time, because the clock will have jumped forward an hour during sleep.
That sounds pretty straightforward, right? That’s pretty simple, we just move bedtime earlier by an hour. But here’s some reasons why you may or may not want to go for this. This approach means that you need to be able to go to sleep one hour earlier than you normally would, a whole hour earlier. Now, normally I would say, if your little one is very sensitive to change and to times, if they’re a younger baby and they’re taking lots of naps in the day, then every minute really counts, and they’re going to notice this is a big jump, it’s a big expectation. Whereas, the easier-going ones and often the older children can normally cope with a bigger change, like a whole hour change in one go.
But that’s a lot easier to do in the autumn than it is in the spring. Why? Because in the autumn, we move our bedtime later by an hour. And it is much easier for the human body to stay awake for an extra hour than it is to go to sleep an hour sooner, because you have to be tired enough. We can be tired and keep ourselves awake an extra hour, more easily than we can make ourselves sleepy enough to go to sleep an hour earlier. And that’s one of the biggest differences in the spring compared to the autumn clock change.
So have a think about how your little one might be. Do you think they are tired enough to go to bed an hour earlier?
In some cases, this could be the perfect opportunity if you know that your little one is exhausted, has been maybe really struggling and needs some extra sleep. And actually, going to bed an hour earlier might be the absolute best possible thing, and here’s a great opportunity for it.
But on the flip side, if you think, “No way, my little one will not be tired.” Perhaps they’re still having a nap in the day and it just won’t work, or maybe you need to alter something there to make it work. But if you just think that falling asleep an hour earlier is not going to happen, then in that case, you want to have a look back at the last two blogs where I covered different approaches to make this a bit more gradual and make the transition a little less sudden, and help take the time with it.
There is no right or wrong answer here, just options and suggestions to try to smooth that change into the new clock time, it’ about what is best for your child.
I’d love to know which approach you’re going for with this coming clock change, why not pop us a message over on our social media to let us know and how it goes.
Take care, sleep well and if you want to know even more about sleep before then why not download my Sweet Dreams videos full of tips and tricks for getting your little ones to sleep soundly.

Adjusting Sleep With Clocks Going Forward

https://youtu.be/uHbO5GjBnj0
This week I am continuing the March miniseries, on the different tips and strategies for managing the clock changes, particularly the clock change where we spring forward and the clocks go forward by an hour. So how can we help our little ones adjust when the clocks go forward an hour?
Last week we went through a very gradual approach in the last episode, so this week, I’m giving you what I call meet in the middle.
When it comes to meeting in the middle with this clock change, what that means is, quite simply, you meet the time change halfway. So, if bedtime is normally 7:00 PM, and we know that during the night, once they’ve gone to bed on Saturday, when they wake up on Sunday, the clocks will have moved forward an hour. So we’re going to meet in the middle and split that difference. So instead of going to bed that whole hour earlier at 6:00 PM, we’re going to just go half an hour earlier and go to bed at 6:30.
So bedtime’s normally 7:00 PM. Put them to bed 30 minutes earlier at 6:30 or whatever the time may be. The key is, when you meet in the middle, you go to bed 30 minutes earlier. It’s as simple as that, really straightforward.
Now, why is this a good approach?
This is a good approach because we are not trying to adjust our sleep pattern by a whole hour in one go. But we also know that we are ready for a big enough jump. We can manage half an hour difference as a general rule, so if your little one can manage half an hour earlier, you know that they’re tired enough and can settle 30 minutes earlier, then great. This could be a really good approach for you. It means that they can still sleep for close to their usual number of sleep hours in the night without waking up at a drastically different time in the morning when the clocks have gone forward. It just helps try and keep them roughly on track and move them into that new time.
So who is this for and who isn’t this for? The very gradual approach, moving 15 minute increments from Wednesday night, is a really good approach for the very sensitive types and the younger babies, and those are napping quite a lot, where a few minutes really counts to their schedule.
This ‘meet in the middle’ approach would be more suited to perhaps toddlers or even young children who maybe are napping once a day or not napping anymore, but you still wouldn’t really be able to push them to go a whole hour earlier to bed, because that might be too extreme for them.
One of the pitfalls could be that you go for it but they just lie there and they don’t fall asleep, or they mess about, or they’re fussing. And you think, oh, well, I tried, but they didn’t actually go to sleep any earlier. Don’t worry. At least you tried. See how long they do that night. Take the next day on the new time, and see if getting to bed a little bit earlier the next day helps, because that might be the answer too.
You’ll be giving the brain all the right signals when you put them to bed that now is sleep time, and they should be starting to move into that new time for their body clocks, so it’s worth doing. But if you suspect maybe they are going to just not be sleepy, then it could be worth having a look at the more gradual approach to this, so that we’re nudging that body clock slightly each night, over a number of nights, before we get to that Saturday night, and when the clocks are going to change in the night.
Next week I am going to tell you about the one fell swoop, all in one go option, and why you may or may not choose to do that. So come back to me and check that one out. But in the meantime, sleep soundly and get ready, because spring is on its way.
Why not book a discovery call to find out more about sleep plans for your little one.